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Club News
Eastenderz FC Complete Signing of Saaqib as Zed Plays Key Role in Deal
Eastenderz FC have completed the signing of midfielder Saaqib, with manager Mo Haji finalising a move that was strongly influenced by fellow Bangladeshi midfielder Zed.
Khaalid Celebrates £500 Million-a-Year Eastenderz Deal in Style
Eastenderz FC star Khaalid marked a staggering £500 million-per-year contract by arriving outside Ilford Station in a Rolls-Royce Corniche, flashing cash and sporting a sky-blue beard after exploding into August form.
06/08/2026
Mo Ibz Collects July Golden Boot After Sensational Month
Mo Ibz has collected the Eastenderz FC Golden Boot for July 2026 after scoring 62 goals in 81 appearances — while an open investigation into alleged performance-enhancing substances continues.
05/08/2026
Zed Survives Ruthless BBC Quiz-Show Question After Being Asked to Name Eastenderz FC’s Dressing-Room MVP
Eastenderz FC midfielder Zed faced a carefully constructed trap on a BBC quiz show when asked to name the dressing-room MVP from Bidi, Lim, Marly and Mo Ibz — and refused to start a civil war.
05/08/2026
Mo Haji and Mo Ibz Caught Red-Handed in Ilford Lane Fast-Food Raid
Mo Haji’s strict weight-loss programme has been thrown into immediate doubt after he and Mo Ibz were photographed leaving Lakers on Ilford Lane carrying enough takeaway bags to feed the entire Eastenderz dressing room.
26/07/2026
Mo Ibz Faces Anti-Doping Calls After Extraordinary July Form
Ibanaham and Khaalid demand answers as midfielder sweeps the monthly awards and posts numbers that have left the Eastenderz dressing room stunned.
21/07/2026
Mo Haji Begins Strict Weight-Loss Programme After Difficult Run of Form
Eastenderz FC’s manager-player has accepted that improvements are needed both physically and on the pitch as he attempts to revive his season.
19/07/2026
Lim Crowned Eastenderz FC’s Most Complete Player
The midfielder’s combination of creativity, efficiency, defensive work and consistent performances earns him the club’s Most Complete Player Award.
16/07/2026
Ibanaham and Marly: The Defensive Standard at Eastenderz FC
Eastenderz FC’s attacking stars often dominate the headlines, but Ibanaham and Marly have built two of the strongest defensive records in the first-team squad.
15/07/2026
Zed Becomes Eastenderz FC’s Record Appearance Maker and Assist King
Eastenderz FC celebrate Zed after he passed 500 appearances while extending his club records for assists and Man of the Match awards.
15/07/2026
Abu Makes History as Eastenderz FC’s First 500-Goal Scorer
Eastenderz FC present Abu with a special Golden Boot honour after the forward passed 500 club goals and strengthened his place as all-time leading scorer.
15/07/2026